Now as I've stated before, I am fully entrenched in the BDSM lifestyle in second life. I am also a Mistress in real as well.

Many see BDSM as the taboo or something to be feared and hated. It is perverted and wrong. How can someone gain pleasure from pain or such degradation you may wonder? The Tops must be bullies that like to get their kicks from hurting others and are extremely sadistic and should be locked away for some of the things they try to do to others. These may be things that run through an outsider's head when they think about this lifestyle. And yet they judge what they truly do not know and that saddens me to no end.

First off, BDSM stands for Bondage and discipline, Dominance and submission, and Sadism and Masochism. Each part of it can be mixed with another or the entire thing can blend into one. It is all based on your specific needs and wants at any given time.

It is also based on trust from both parties. Without this the entire thing crumbles and you can never have a truly satisfying scene or relationship. The bottom is not an unwilling partner in all these activities and they are in their right state of mind when they agree to such things. They are made fully aware of the dangers or risks and also given a safe word. There are two guiding principles that lifestylers may choose to follow- RACK or SSC. In RACK, the bottom knows the inherent risks involved in the scene and accepts them. In SSC the sub is given a safeword to use when their limits have been reached during a scene.

I am a firm believer in SSC (Safe, Sane, Consensual) play because it establishes a bridge of trust. My submissives/slaves always trust that when they use their safeword to call a halt to the play that I will stop. They also trust me enough that they have never needed to use it. There are many views on what makes a good dom(me) and the criteria. It's all a matter of opinion really. But in my eyes, a good dom(me) knows their submissive's limits and knows when to push and when to back down. They are well in tune with their submissive/pet/slave to know when to push a certain button. But they also know the value of communication. Regularly talking with their slaves to get to know them and their minds. This relaxed atmosphere creates a bond as well as a comfort zone for the submissive. I personally make sure to keep an open dialog with all my pets at all times so that they feel free to express their thoughts and feelings with me at any time. I want to know everything about my submissive- what they think, feel, dream, desire, abhor. I want to get into their minds to understand how they tick. A good dom(me) also inspires their submissives to new heights. They look for their growth as well. Like any relationship if it stays stagnant then there will be no growth or learning. I encourage all my pets to learn more because it can bring them to new heights of pleasure and awareness within themselves. They learn more about themselves then they ever thought possible. They must also always know their place, be reminded of it. I am loving and sweet with my pets but they NEVER forget that I am their owner and they are my pet. This actually brings them a sense of peace. In the world there are only two positions in life, number one and trying to be number one. It is chaos and uncertainty but in the world of D/s there is no uncertainty. The submissive can let go and focus on one thing, serving their Owner and making them happy.

I will add more later....muah