Now as I've stated before, I am fully entrenched in the BDSM lifestyle in second life. I am also a Mistress in real as well.
Many see BDSM as the taboo or something to be feared and hated. It is perverted and wrong. How can someone gain pleasure from pain or such degradation you may wonder? The Tops must be bullies that like to get their kicks from hurting others and are extremely sadistic and should be locked away for some of the things they try to do to others. These may be things that run through an outsider's head when they think about this lifestyle. And yet they judge what they truly do not know and that saddens me to no end.
First off, BDSM stands for Bondage and discipline, Dominance and submission, and Sadism and Masochism. Each part of it can be mixed with another or the entire thing can blend into one. It is all based on your specific needs and wants at any given time.
It is also based on trust from both parties. Without this the entire thing crumbles and you can never have a truly satisfying scene or relationship. The bottom is not an unwilling partner in all these activities and they are in their right state of mind when they agree to such things. They are made fully aware of the dangers or risks and also given a safe word. There are two guiding principles that lifestylers may choose to follow- RACK or SSC. In RACK, the bottom knows the inherent risks involved in the scene and accepts them. In SSC the sub is given a safeword to use when their limits have been reached during a scene.
I am a firm believer in SSC (Safe, Sane, Consensual) play because it establishes a bridge of trust. My submissives/slaves always trust that when they use their safeword to call a halt to the play that I will stop. They also trust me enough that they have never needed to use it. There are many views on what makes a good dom(me) and the criteria. It's all a matter of opinion really. But in my eyes, a good dom(me) knows their submissive's limits and knows when to push and when to back down. They are well in tune with their submissive/pet/slave to know when to push a certain button. But they also know the value of communication. Regularly talking with their slaves to get to know them and their minds. This relaxed atmosphere creates a bond as well as a comfort zone for the submissive. I personally make sure to keep an open dialog with all my pets at all times so that they feel free to express their thoughts and feelings with me at any time. I want to know everything about my submissive- what they think, feel, dream, desire, abhor. I want to get into their minds to understand how they tick. A good dom(me) also inspires their submissives to new heights. They look for their growth as well. Like any relationship if it stays stagnant then there will be no growth or learning. I encourage all my pets to learn more because it can bring them to new heights of pleasure and awareness within themselves. They learn more about themselves then they ever thought possible. They must also always know their place, be reminded of it. I am loving and sweet with my pets but they NEVER forget that I am their owner and they are my pet. This actually brings them a sense of peace. In the world there are only two positions in life, number one and trying to be number one. It is chaos and uncertainty but in the world of D/s there is no uncertainty. The submissive can let go and focus on one thing, serving their Owner and making them happy.
I will add more later....muah
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Second Life: My winding road to now...
The day i rezzed in SL, I was graced with the name of KaylenaMaria Destiny. While the name I chose rolled of one's tongue in an exotic lilt, little did I realize how truly long it was and how the uniqueness of it would be completely lost in translation as people I encountered proceeded to slice, diced, and mince my name to a sweet edited version of Kay. So that being said, please feel free to call me Kay- everyone else does. ~laughss~
The day I rezzed my newbie form into second life some odd years ago, I was immediately lost, adrift, confused and about to be overwhelmed. There was so much of this new world that I did not understand or comprehend. Looking at all the buttons crowding on my computer screen caused my head to ache and brow to furrow as I randomly pressed buttons trying to learn their purpose, meaning and usefulness to me. I had no friends, my form was horrible and even I knew that I was looking rather ragged. My only friend and lifeline at that moment was the small HUD at the top of my screen directing me through the ragtag tutorial to get a crash course in the second life world. After trying to learn how to fly and bumping into so many walls I was surprised I didn't permanently damage my new avatar, I was about to throw my hands up in defeat when I remembered a friend from another site that told me he had switched over. I looked up the logs to remind myself of his name and proceeded to search him down and immediately add him to my friends list. My mind felt a bit lighter and at peace knowing that I was not completely and utterly alone in this new place. After a day or so he accepted my request and started to show me around. He took me to stores to load up on all the wonderful freebies. I have to say that I really rocked my freebie look at the time. lolz
After shopping and getting all the clothes that I possibly could at the time we proceeded to head out and explore. He took me skiing, mountain bike climbing -at which point and time I got lost- and then to the beach where we surfed and relaxed. I was amazed at the time but my brain wasn't fully comprehending all the things that second life had to offer. I was on overload and dealing with only a few things at one time to better process things.
After a bit more exploring on my own I met a new friend at a romantic ballroom. I thought he looked cute and was very sweet. My Latino crush. ~laughs~ He wore so much bling that I felt I should've been wearing sunglasses but he was a veteran to me, someone that knew what things were about. We went horseback riding, pose ball hopping, club hopping, romantic walks and talks, amusement parks, and so much more. I loved spending time with him and it all made me happy. After a while I was feeling guilty for deserting my friends on my old site and decided to return for a while more. I made new friends...new loves...and new exes. Because of a scandal at the time I deleted my profile on second life to stop wagging tongues. One of my friends...turned out to be my future second life brother and his pet, my sister-n-law.
To run down memory lane...
I met him in a club that I was sitting at and regularly attended on the virtual site. Watching people and reading profiles when he suddenly IMed me from the table over. We began to talk and had a little game of trivia for one another. As time passed we talked more. For some reason we developed a kinship of sorts, an understanding. He quickly drew me into his world of friends and I was even more fully immersed into the BDSM world. Over time our friendship further developed and he looked upon me as a younger sister and I looked upon him as my older brother. I accepted him...and him me...It was a freeing feeling to know someone has your back. I've never really had an older brother I can look up to and spend time with so it was a nice feeling. He soon got a pet that was completely devoted to him. Her and I became friends...then sisters. After a while he became bored on that site and decided to move over to Second Life and take his pet, soon to be his wife, over with him on second life. I stayed in the old site for a bit more due to my relationship at the time...But soon followed and joined them in their life.
We became a family, a very tight nit family that I came to depend on in there at the time. But all was not well...As with any life, drama ensued and my brother soon left second life to escape it. I followed a bit after to go my own way. Had more relationships and heartache...But through it all I found who my real friends and family were there. I now have my brother and best friend and daughter. All of whom I love dearly...
I also have my pets/subs on second life and that is a joy to me as well...
Hmmm...Well that is all I will right for now. You have the story of what brought me to second life...I'll right more soon...G'night!
The day I rezzed my newbie form into second life some odd years ago, I was immediately lost, adrift, confused and about to be overwhelmed. There was so much of this new world that I did not understand or comprehend. Looking at all the buttons crowding on my computer screen caused my head to ache and brow to furrow as I randomly pressed buttons trying to learn their purpose, meaning and usefulness to me. I had no friends, my form was horrible and even I knew that I was looking rather ragged. My only friend and lifeline at that moment was the small HUD at the top of my screen directing me through the ragtag tutorial to get a crash course in the second life world. After trying to learn how to fly and bumping into so many walls I was surprised I didn't permanently damage my new avatar, I was about to throw my hands up in defeat when I remembered a friend from another site that told me he had switched over. I looked up the logs to remind myself of his name and proceeded to search him down and immediately add him to my friends list. My mind felt a bit lighter and at peace knowing that I was not completely and utterly alone in this new place. After a day or so he accepted my request and started to show me around. He took me to stores to load up on all the wonderful freebies. I have to say that I really rocked my freebie look at the time. lolz
After shopping and getting all the clothes that I possibly could at the time we proceeded to head out and explore. He took me skiing, mountain bike climbing -at which point and time I got lost- and then to the beach where we surfed and relaxed. I was amazed at the time but my brain wasn't fully comprehending all the things that second life had to offer. I was on overload and dealing with only a few things at one time to better process things.
After a bit more exploring on my own I met a new friend at a romantic ballroom. I thought he looked cute and was very sweet. My Latino crush. ~laughs~ He wore so much bling that I felt I should've been wearing sunglasses but he was a veteran to me, someone that knew what things were about. We went horseback riding, pose ball hopping, club hopping, romantic walks and talks, amusement parks, and so much more. I loved spending time with him and it all made me happy. After a while I was feeling guilty for deserting my friends on my old site and decided to return for a while more. I made new friends...new loves...and new exes. Because of a scandal at the time I deleted my profile on second life to stop wagging tongues. One of my friends...turned out to be my future second life brother and his pet, my sister-n-law.
To run down memory lane...
I met him in a club that I was sitting at and regularly attended on the virtual site. Watching people and reading profiles when he suddenly IMed me from the table over. We began to talk and had a little game of trivia for one another. As time passed we talked more. For some reason we developed a kinship of sorts, an understanding. He quickly drew me into his world of friends and I was even more fully immersed into the BDSM world. Over time our friendship further developed and he looked upon me as a younger sister and I looked upon him as my older brother. I accepted him...and him me...It was a freeing feeling to know someone has your back. I've never really had an older brother I can look up to and spend time with so it was a nice feeling. He soon got a pet that was completely devoted to him. Her and I became friends...then sisters. After a while he became bored on that site and decided to move over to Second Life and take his pet, soon to be his wife, over with him on second life. I stayed in the old site for a bit more due to my relationship at the time...But soon followed and joined them in their life.
We became a family, a very tight nit family that I came to depend on in there at the time. But all was not well...As with any life, drama ensued and my brother soon left second life to escape it. I followed a bit after to go my own way. Had more relationships and heartache...But through it all I found who my real friends and family were there. I now have my brother and best friend and daughter. All of whom I love dearly...
I also have my pets/subs on second life and that is a joy to me as well...
Hmmm...Well that is all I will right for now. You have the story of what brought me to second life...I'll right more soon...G'night!
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